My Girl

There are still moments I can't believe that you are mine

I love how you crinkle your nose

clap your hands

sign more, please, and all done

I love how you say, DaDa, MaMa, BuBu, Baby, PaPa, and More

I love how you always want me

I love every quiet moment I get with you

I like the loud moments too

I love that you pull out every cookbook, pot, pan, and utensil while I cook

I even love how you take out all of my toiletries from the vanity while I get ready

There are times I act exasperated by your constant movement and destructive ways

(Daddy calls you "The Ella Twister"--you can always tell where Ella has been)

I really just want to stop that silly "perfect mommy behavior" and love you for who you are right now

I'm not supposed to have a tidy house, I'm just supposed to love you with all I have

I will slow down this Christmas and cherish every little part of OUR LOVE

Picture taken by my dear friend Erin Keith

Thoughts from Owen

I'm sure I've written posts before that talk about how smart my kids are and I know if you read this you may think that I'm being arrogant.  I also know that most of you think your kiddos are nothing short of amazing, so I'm going to brag again! 

My Owen is very bright.  He thinks so deeply and figures out things I never dreamed he could.  A while back we were playing a staring contest game.  You know, "Made you blink!"  He asked why we blink when something comes close to our eyes and I simply said, "It's human nature.  Our eye-lids are protecting our eyes from potential harm." This seems to satisfy him and we moved on to other things.  Several months later, while getting the boys ready for bed, Owen explained that he could never sleep without his fan on because a really quiet room makes him feel a little lonely and that makes him feel scared at night.  I told him that I am the exact same way and that I have needed "white noise" since I was his age just to fill the space with sound.  Owen responded with, "That's human nature Mom.  We need things like noise to protect our minds from scary things."  I had forgotten my little speech from a while back so I asked him how he knew about human nature.  He quickly retold my story about eye blinking and explained how the two were similar. 

Maybe that doesn't sound smart to you, but it does to me.  As I thought about it, he made a connection between physical response and emotional need, something some grown ups never understand.  I love that little boy and how his mind works. I love that he constantly wants to learn and goes at it with all he has.  And of course,  I love that he is mine!

Ella

Gratitude Wrap Up

A reflection on 4 days spent with family

Brothers

Sisters

Laughter

Cousins

Food

Mother and Father-in-law
(thank you for loving all of your "daughters" as if they were your own from the beginning)

Comfort

A wonderful place for my baby to nap

Our best friend cousins
Memories
And finally.....
"Breaking Dawn" (yep, I'm that girl!)

Gratitude for November 22nd

Aaron getting a night out with friends

A thanksgiving feast with a bunch of kindergarten and 1st grade kids

Watching Eli play through the window of his classroom (I love when they don't know you are watching)

Teachers that guide my boys

My healthy, brilliant, and beautiful children (a mom can type that and not be blamed for bragging)

Gratitude

Our Church

My 3 and 4 year-olds in Sunday School

Eli saying, "The teacher is my mommy."

Eli's Bible in his hands while I share the word of God

Making a tent so we know how some may have worshiped

Little voices singing while in our tent

Little prayers that are heard as true conversations to God

Late night parent night with friends every Sunday night

Unexpected "real" friendships

The kind of friendship where you wear no make-up, but you do wear pj's

Fast Car

I have always loved this song.  It brings back so many memories of being younger.  I think it was one of the first songs that I actually appreciated lyrically and musically.  Today it took on a new meaning.  I was at McDonalds with a friend and our kids.  We were chatting away while the boys played and the girls sat in our laps.  Then I spotted one of my former Junior High students.  I have taught many at risk students and this particular girl was one of the most at risk.  She was dealt all the "rough cards" in life.  She became pregnant shortly after I had Owen, making her a 15-year-old mommy.  When I saw her, I am ashamed to say, that I initially avoided her.  She was dressed quite inappropriately, and her language wasn't much better.  She had three children, all hers.  We were at similar stages in life in regards to child rearing, but her life had not gotten any easier.  I could tell she was struggling.  So, why didn't I go to her and talk?  Why didn't I ask her about her children?  I tried to catch her attention once or twice, but she didn't seem to recognize me.  All of my former students remember me.  It was Junior High, you remember those teachers, you remember all teachers!  Maybe she didn't want to talk.  Maybe she really didn't remember me, but I do wish I could go back and talk to her.  I wish I could go back and not worry about how awkward the conversation might have been or how difficult it would have been to manage my kids and hers without a melt down.  I wish I could go back and offer her friendship, from one mommy to another.

On the way home, I heard this song and each word traced back to this student. 

"You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better

Starting from zero got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car

But is it fast enough so you can fly away

You gotta make a decision

You leave tonight or live and die this way"

I prayed for you last night dear student.  I prayed for your babies.  I prayed for your precious mommy heart.  I pray that the Lord will let our paths cross again and this time I will step up and let you know that I love you.

Gratitude

A husband who runs at 4:30 in the morning to make life easier for me

Kickboxing for me tonight

Lunch with friends

Honesty

Bubbles in the sink

A new book

A quiet house

Gratitude

This long weekend gave me many reasons to be thankful.

Here are just a few

Sleeping in

My love home for 4 days (the reason why I didn't post this till today)

Our family of 5 together for 4 days (another reason why)

Christmas decorating

Major cleaning

Husband scrubbing along with me (I love that man)

Leaf tunnels

Daddy telling the boys stories on the tree swing

Daddy playing and playing and playing

Watching thy boys idolize their Daddy, savoring every word he says

This life, with this man, and these amazing miracles we call children

Gratitude

(For November 11th)

An extra day off for Daddy

Christmas decorating
A surprise visit from Papa and Nana

The boys "decorating" their own tree

"Look what I found!"

"This is so pretty!"

"Ella will love this!"

"Put that one here!"

I loved their excitement

I love this time of year!

Ella's Birthday

Gratitude

Alone time with Ella
Three clean bathrooms
Cozy, rainy, cuddly kind of day
A new book
"Table time" to talk with Aaron
Making goals
Listening to brothers become friends

Gratitude

Today I am thankful for
Aaron always having Mondays off
The precious time we have with Eli and Ella on these days
Eli on Daddy's shoulders, laughing so hard tears stream down his cheeks
Grocery shopping
The ability to always fill our cart
Goodwill-always a fun adventure to treasure hunt
Aaron making special time for each boy

Good news at the doctor
Precious twins
Tiny baby nursing
Tiny baby drinking from a bottle
The miracle of modern medicine
Premature twins looking at me
A precious friend that trusted in the Lord
A merciful God that kept them strong
BABY MIRACLES

Gratitude

Today I am thankful for
The power going out at 3 am, leading to...
Two boys snuggled between Daddy and Mommy
Two sleepy boys...so the 4 of us really slept together
Hoods
Warm, fuzzy hoods
Lunch with Mom and Dad
Texts from my bro
Sleeping baby girl
Softly touching whispy hair of sleeping baby girl

Gratitude Journal

My goal this month is to post what I am grateful for 5 days a week, so here is November 1st and 2nd

November 1st
Prayer time before the bus
Trampoline jumping
Baby giggles
Eli's heart breaking smile
Big brother snuggling little sister
Wind in my hair
Staring at the sky with Eli and Ella

November 2nd
An unexpected ache for my oldest-reminds me he's still my baby
Library Story Time-Ella clapping, crawling, chasing bubbles
Taking a walk with my middle and baby
Finding a forest
Pretending
Swinging
Crawling on crunchy leaves
Nap time
Oldest coming home-seeing his smile as he hops off the bus
When my love first walks in from work... Ella clapping and reaching
Where does my love go? To me FIRST.
His Kiss
The joy I see when baby gets her way and is in his arms...

Sweet Girls

It's so much fun to have a niece and a baby girl.
Thank you Katie for loving this as much as me!

Joys of Fall

If I could bottle this joy, I would.

She's One!

Little Moments....another reason to celebrate

I celebrate your joy.


Happy Birthday

Ella Claire-A One Year Reflection

Today we celebrate your life precious girl.

I celebrate how you are teaching your brothers to be gentle and strong, for they
protect you and learn from your gentle ways.

I celebrate the beautiful bond you have with Daddy. He loves you
as much as the boys, but it's a different way of loving and it changes him and this changes me.

I celebrate you and me. I celebrate my little answer to prayer. I prayed for you baby girl. I prayed for you before I knew I needed you. Before I knew what having a baby girl would do to my heart.

You have changed my world. You have changed OUR world. We love you Ella Claire Roemer
We celebrate your life today.

Ella Week 51

Ella Week 50

Perfect words for a day this beautiful

Every human being is

“formed to be a spectator of the created world –

and given eyes

that he might be led to its Author

by contemplating so beautiful a representation.”

~ John Calvin, Commentary on Romans 1:19

Ella Week 49

Ella Week 48

What is it about silence?

Why is silence like medicine for my soul? When all of my babies are sleeping the lack of sound in my home is so comforting. I want to remember this peace. I know that all three are safe. I know all three are dreaming and growing at this very moment.

I usually don't have Owen home for a nap because he is at school, but he had an early dismissal today so he is sleeping away with the others. I was so excited to pick him up. Eli was even more excited. You should have seen them pretend when they got home. It was a full extravaganza, including Ella.

You know, silence is what allows me to reflect on moments like these. Allows me to lock them up tight in my heart and then rush to the computer or their baby books to record them.

Today I will use this silence to remember two little boys pretending to be bees, back packs on their backs, swords for stingers and little arms outstretched like wings. And one little baby bee in her pack-n-play protecting all of the pollen, each boy hopping in, one at a time to make a delivery of tickles and laughter.

Laughter, giggles, singing, a little yelling, more laughter......silence.....silence.....now I'm ready for the noise!

Ella Week 47

Thank you for the rocket ship....

This is just a post to remind me of the little things in my life right now. After returning from Florida this year, Eli started thanking God for "the airplane and the rocket ship" in his prayer. It goes something like this, "Dear God, thank you for Mama, Daddy, Owen, Eli, and Ella. Be with the babies Leena and Met. (my dear friend recently had her twins at 26 weeks, the names are Helena and Emmett)And thank you God for the airplane and rocket ship." He never leaves the last part out. We did fly to Florida, but we aren't sure what the rocket ship is about. We do vacation near Cape Canaveral and maybe he heard us talking about things regarding that or heard something on the news...who knows? Either way, it is very cute. He says it with such sincerity. He really is thankful for that rocket ship!

Ella Week 46

This baby is on the go. I was lucky to get this shot. Notice she is eating puffs. I'm going to have to get really creative each week to make it to her first birthday.
We love you and all of your crawling and cruising ways, Ella Claire!

Ella Week 45

I Don't Want to Forget

I want to hold on to this moment. I want to savor her sweet smell. I want to hear her giggle.
It's our alone time. Just me and Ella. Just me and my girl. We went for a walk this morning once the boys got on the bus. She babbled the entire time. It was as if she was telling me her dreams. Of course, I joined in on the dialogue, acting as if we were having an adult conversation.

When we got home, a moment happened. I very small thing. Something another person would not even notice. I was holding Ella, walking around the house, when I realized she had her little arm slung over my shoulder. Her tiny hand was patting me. It felt so good. Her sweet, soft chubby little hand giving me a little bit of comfort. She is mimicking her Mommy and Daddy. She is loved and already knows how to show that love. Oh, I know she doesn't know what she's doing, but that makes it even better. She does this out of instinct. She loves me because it's all she knows.

She snuggles me as I put her down for her morning nap. Another moment I want to remember. She sits on my lap, facing me and buries her head in my chest. She snuggles in, slowly relaxing....and then I place her in her crib. She looks at me, smiles and rolls to her side. "Sweet dreams baby girl. Your mommy will never forget these moments."

Ella Week 44

This ache in my heart....

Wow, this two boys in school thing is making my heart hurt. Eli only goes to school for half days on Tuesday and Thursday, so yesterday was his turn to stay home. Every morning last year, Owen and I would play tag in our drive way as we waited for the bus. Of course, this tradition had to continue with Eli and Ella joining in. Ella is quite speedy in her stroller. The boys came up with some super hero name for our "girl dynamic duo." They will have to remind me what that is. You should see me push that baby! We were laughing and chasing, when I spotted the bus. I ushered Owen to the end of the drive and Eli quickly followed. We held hands and said our family prayer (a new tradition I love--you should here how compassionate my boys are and how often they think of each other) and then prepared for the bus to roll by and stop. Eli just assumed he would get on the bus too. When I had to hold him back, he looked a little sad, but was ok. Then Owen walked up the stairs and waved to Eli saying, "I'll see you soon buddy." And that's when Eli started to cry. Not just a few tears, he was sobbing. I asked him if he was crying because he wanted to ride the bus and he shook his head no. I asked if he was crying because Owen was leaving? He shook his head yes and said, "I miss my Owen." Guess who started crying at that point? I am so glad they are best friends. I'm so glad that Owen protects his baby brother. I am so glad Eli looks up to his big brother. I remember my wonderful friend C, telling me how beautiful the bond between siblings would be. I just had no idea it would be such a blessing. So....I do have an ache in my heart for my boys. I miss hearing them giggle, pretend, wrestle, fight, laugh, and so much more. But, I do know they have each other in that big world of school. I know they will have each other for as long as they live. Now, I can live with a little ache.

Ella Week 43

Eli's Big Day

Eli had his Pre-K Jump Start Day last week and boy was he excited. He has been wanting to go to school since Owen started at WLB last year. He talks about being a big boy in Mrs. Maxwell's class with his buddy Jayce (you can see the male bonding above). Those two boys are going to break some little hearts. Oh, he also LOVES the idea of riding the bus. I wasn't going to let him ride, but it's obvious that he's ready and Owen will be on there to watch out for him.

I love watching Eli's pure joy and excitement in taking on this new role of student. I love his teacher and the school. It's hard to let go, but it's so wonderful to watch him grow in confidence.

I love you Eli Benjamin. Here's to a year of learning and growing.

Ella Week 42

He says...."My girls."

Lately, Aaron has been thanking God for "his girls" during our prayer time with the boys. He'll say something like, "Thank Lord for my strong boys and my sweet girls." Sometimes he'll say the boys are brave, sometimes he'll say they are sweet. Sometimes his girls are precious and sometimes WE are strong too. I love that my husband allows us all to be strong and gentle!

When Aaron started saying this, Owen could not understand why he said girls (plural) because he only had one baby girl. He explained, "Mommy is my girl too."

I love this for two reasons. One, there are two girls in the house and two, I'm still "his girl!"

Ella Week 41

Ella Week 40

Brothers

This Mama can't wait to see the men you will become....

Ella Week 39

Florida Vacation Week Two
Just had to get a shot of this sweet baby girl in her ruffly swimming suit and sun hat.
More pics to come....

Ella Week 38

Florida Vacation-Week One
Ella's first trip to New Smyrna Beach