Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It Takes Three Baby!

I was with a large group of my girlfriends last night. We talked, laughed, shared stories, told baby and birthing stories, laughed some more, ate, hugged, and ate some more. I realized as I looked around the table that each one of these women had a "mother story" to tell. I wished that we had unlimited time to share each story, to offer encouragement, to lift each other up. We really only had time to share a snip it of our lives in the midst of several conversations. When asked how I was dealing with three, I said, "It's hard. Much harder than two." I didn't mean I don' t love it. I simply wanted to express that being a mom to 3 children, 5 and under is a lot of work. When I left that night and started reflecting on our conversations, I wanted to go back and tell my friends, especially those I don't see, but once a year, that I love my life with three. I love every minute of it. The good, the bad, the perfect...and yes, I do have many perfect moments in this life. So, if you are reading this sweet, beautiful friends. I love the challenge of this amazing life. I love that I have to break up fights between my boys. I love that Owen can make Ella laugh no matter what is going on. I love that Eli looks up to Owen as if he is his role model. I love how Owen made his bed this morning without being asked. I love that Eli wanted to snuggle in bed with me when he woke up...and Owen wanted to too once he woke up. I love "chasing" Owen to the bus (our fun little game every school morning). I love kissing Ella's soft, chubby cheeks. I love forts, cookie making, painting, dirt, hugs, kisses, messes, snuggles, nap times, prayers, stories, books, toys, chores, clothes, pretending......
I LOVE MY LIFE and not just when they are napping!!!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Hug, Angels and Loves

Today, a dear friend called and asked if we (me and the kids) wanted some company on this rainy, cold day. I said, "Yes, please!" I was thinking Yes, please because I wanted this day to go a little faster. The boys wanted to be outside, I was running out of fun things to do, I was struggling this week with helping my sweet baby girl learn how to eat from a spoon, and I needed out of the house. Her coming over with Eli's best friend sounded wonderful.

Well, my boys decided to put on a bad behavior show. I think I gave about 2 time outs each, corrected behaviors more times than I could count, consoled a fussy baby, tried to feed that fussy baby, tried to console fighting boys while holding sweet fussy baby, and I'm sure she witnessed much more than I even realized. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment as I arose from the "time out" spot. I didn't want her to think my boys were bad. I don't want anyone to view my children as naughty. I wanted her to see me at my finest. I struggle with this often...wanting others to think I have it all together. Wanting others to "want" my life. Well, Emmary...I don't think she wanted your life today (that kept resonating in my head).

As she left, I reached to her for a hug and apologized for the crazy morning. In that moment, that sweet pregnant momma hug moment, I realized she was not judging me, she was not comparing me, she probably didn't even mind being in my crazy house. We are walking this road of motherhood together. Her sweet hug told me all of this. That, and her words of, "You don't need to apologize..."

I was watching Owen sleep once he was down for his nap and I had this aching desire to call my friend and have her watch him too. My big boy, my sometimes crazy 5 year old, looked so much like the baby I brought home 5 years ago. He is still so innocent, so perfectly my own. He told me this as he was drifting off to sleep: "Mommies are supposed to call their first babies their "angels" and the other ones their "loves."

Oh, I like that my sweet angel...

Ella Week 25

This is the quilt my grandma made for me when I was born!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Pure and Rich

I have been her only source of nourishment. There is a bond that we have, that all three of us have had. They each stared at me, nuzzling in for peace. This is the time to stop each day. Four or five times that force me to sit, to rest, to relish the miracle of life I hold and possess. My Savior thought of this. He created this free offering of food. My milk is pure, just as He is. My milk is rich, just as He is. My milk is the source of growth and change, just as He changes us all. I think His hand is in all things around me. I think he made this act so pure and rich so that I would think of Him each and every time I do it.

She may be moving on to a spoon, but I still have her in my arms four to five times a day, providing her life....from my life.

Ella Week 24

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Yellow Light

Last week, Owen came home with his first "yellow light" from school. This is a behavior system his teacher uses in the classroom. The goal is to stay on green and Owen has stayed on green the entire year, except for last Wednesday. His chart said, "too rough during recess" and "tapping on the window of another classroom while sitting out during recess--distracting." I could tell something was wrong the minute he got off of the bus. He was quick to tell me what had happened. He was very honest. We talked about the situation and how he needs to always be a good boy, even if it was funny when his friend Ben "shook his booty" at the classroom. Owen said that was much worse than tapping on the window. I tried very hard not to smile or laugh. I think I would have laughed if I had a friend brave enough to "shake their booty" at a "big kid" classroom.

I use that story to preface what we have been dealing with at the Roemer house lately: pushing the limits, testing the boundaries, deliberately disobeying, etc. Owen has really been challenging me lately. Yes, my sweet little boy is causing me to get down on my knees and pray. I know I'm not "doing" this parenting thing right. I give too many chances, I give in, I cave. I want Owen to know that he must always respect and honor his parents and those in authority. I'm resting in the promise that God will guide us through this phase.

He does it Savior guides me to truth in just one singular moment. I click over to my devotional spot: and I find a solution.

The title: How to Make and Take a Peace Retreat
A few words that pricked these tired eyes:

This house rocks with the noise and the thunder, of the many and the living close.

I light a candle. We call it a Peace Retreat.

When tears rain and voices crash, domestic sky splitting with sibling storm, this Mama who sometimes wearies Mama needs arms to wrap up the gusting child or the wind-lashed child to tuck them — and me — into a haven out of the whirlwind, a place with moments to pause and quiet.

“Hon, you’ve some big feelings…. Can we wrap you up in some peace?”

He nods through the wail. I take him by the hand, whisper as he sits, “Why don’t you read Scripture for a few minutes, pray, sing a bit, find some rest in Jesus….”

A Mama can’t fix a squall. But she can embrace and rock and lead to the Man Who can.

I can't fix it all, but I can lead my little man to THE MAN!

I will find a way to wrap him up in peace. I will find a way into his questioning and testing heart. This is the time in which I can mold and shape him. His brother is being shaped as well. Little baby girl, even though she does not speak words we understand, is watching my love, my consistency, and my grace.

Here I go...moving out of the Yellow Light.

Ella Week 23--take 2

I just had to post this picture too. She is so fascinated by her toes right now!

Ella Week 23