Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I LOVE MY LIFE and not just when they are napping!!!!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Well, my boys decided to put on a bad behavior show. I think I gave about 2 time outs each, corrected behaviors more times than I could count, consoled a fussy baby, tried to feed that fussy baby, tried to console fighting boys while holding sweet fussy baby, and I'm sure she witnessed much more than I even realized. I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment as I arose from the "time out" spot. I didn't want her to think my boys were bad. I don't want anyone to view my children as naughty. I wanted her to see me at my finest. I struggle with this often...wanting others to think I have it all together. Wanting others to "want" my life. Well, Emmary...I don't think she wanted your life today (that kept resonating in my head).
As she left, I reached to her for a hug and apologized for the crazy morning. In that moment, that sweet pregnant momma hug moment, I realized she was not judging me, she was not comparing me, she probably didn't even mind being in my crazy house. We are walking this road of motherhood together. Her sweet hug told me all of this. That, and her words of, "You don't need to apologize..."
I was watching Owen sleep once he was down for his nap and I had this aching desire to call my friend and have her watch him too. My big boy, my sometimes crazy 5 year old, looked so much like the baby I brought home 5 years ago. He is still so innocent, so perfectly my own. He told me this as he was drifting off to sleep: "Mommies are supposed to call their first babies their "angels" and the other ones their "loves."
Oh, I like that my sweet angel...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
She may be moving on to a spoon, but I still have her in my arms four to five times a day, providing her life....from my life.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I use that story to preface what we have been dealing with at the Roemer house lately: pushing the limits, testing the boundaries, deliberately disobeying, etc. Owen has really been challenging me lately. Yes, my sweet little boy is causing me to get down on my knees and pray. I know I'm not "doing" this parenting thing right. I give too many chances, I give in, I cave. I want Owen to know that he must always respect and honor his parents and those in authority. I'm resting in the promise that God will guide us through this phase.
He does it again...my Savior guides me to truth in just one singular moment. I click over to my devotional spot: aholyexperience.com and I find a solution.
The title: How to Make and Take a Peace Retreat
A few words that pricked these tired eyes:
This house rocks with the noise and the thunder, of the many and the living close.
I light a candle. We call it a Peace Retreat.
When tears rain and voices crash, domestic sky splitting with sibling storm, this Mama who sometimes wearies Mama needs arms to wrap up the gusting child or the wind-lashed child to tuck them — and me — into a haven out of the whirlwind, a place with moments to pause and quiet.
“Hon, you’ve some big feelings…. Can we wrap you up in some peace?”
He nods through the wail. I take him by the hand, whisper as he sits, “Why don’t you read Scripture for a few minutes, pray, sing a bit, find some rest in Jesus….”
A Mama can’t fix a squall. But she can embrace and rock and lead to the Man Who can.
I can't fix it all, but I can lead my little man to THE MAN!
I will find a way to wrap him up in peace. I will find a way into his questioning and testing heart. This is the time in which I can mold and shape him. His brother is being shaped as well. Little baby girl, even though she does not speak words we understand, is watching my love, my consistency, and my grace.
Here I go...moving out of the Yellow Light.