Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Good Days and Bad Days

We have been learning to deal with many changes in the Roemer house as we adjust to E in a spica cast. I knew it would be hard. I knew I would have to acquire more patience. I knew O would have a few issues too. We really are doing well. We have more good days than bad, but when it's a bad day, it's a doozy!!! The warm weather has caused a few extra problems lately. For example, O wants to play in the sprinkler, but E can't go near the water due to his cast. I try to make E happy with bubbles and playing catch, but it's just not the same. The hot weather also makes E overheat, so I have to take him in every now and again. We have set up an industrial fan in the garage where he can cool off quite easily. That silly cast is like wearing a fleece blanket from his torso to his toes. I can now see E's frustration because he is not feeling pain anymore. He just doesn't understand why he can't get up and go. He tries so hard, but can't get anywhere. It just breaks my heart. O has been such a good boy, but like any 4-year-old, he gets frustrated too. We can't do all the things we used to and he wants to be adventurous. Next week, E will get the right portion of his cast removed (God willing) and we are hoping this gives him more mobility.

I am realizing our blessings through this all. Our family is healthy and happy. My husband is a ROCK (see note below) and I now realize what a blessing it is to have two children that can run and play. I even think the third is running around too...wow, this little one is active!!! Maybe he or she is making up for E's lack of movement. I must gain perspective each day. Face the day with hope and just realize that it may be a bad day, but always hope for a wonderful day!

**My husband is truly amazing! He makes me crepes in the morning, just because I'm craving them. He is an amazing cook at all times and I love to try his new recipes. He can decorate, be creative and fix everything around our house, including our cars. He loves our boys with his whole heart. Loving them in a tender, yet strong way. I love to watch my boys with their daddy. He loves me and makes this very obvious to our boys, family and friends. I know he prays for me and I feel those prayers. He calls to make sure I'm getting through the day and lets me be sad if I need to at the end of the day (as long as I don't wallow in it). Another added bonus, he is extremely fit and amazingly handsome. I thank the Lord for giving me this strong man who walks beside me while we figure out our beautiful life, broken legs and all!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Holding on to my Baby

We went from this...

to this...

Our precious E broke his femur and is now in a spica cast. This means he has a cast on his left leg, his torso and half of his right. Of course, I have had every emotion a mommy can have. Guilt, anxiety, sadness, fear, joy (when they said no surgery and when my baby recognized me after anesthesia). This is the first time I have had to truly let one of my babies go. I had to watch the doctors roll E away and I could not hold his hand, I could not sit next to him and I could not make it better on my own. The Lord is teaching me that my boys are in His arms. I can let go and know that they are being protected by the ultimate healer. This is not going to be easy. Life will be very complicated, but I chose to find peace in it all. Peace in the fact that I get to hold my baby again. All moms know that a 2 year old does not want to be held for long. E is one of those boys that is always on the go, usually chasing after his big brother. So, for this 6 week time frame, I can slow down a little, hold my E, read hundreds of books, watch a few extra movies, play games and watch a big brother become a true helper and friend. Maybe God is preparing all of us for our third little miracle. Funny way of preparing us, but I'll take God's will over mine, any day.