Thursday, May 13, 2010

Holding on to my Baby


We went from this...





to this...


Our precious E broke his femur and is now in a spica cast. This means he has a cast on his left leg, his torso and half of his right. Of course, I have had every emotion a mommy can have. Guilt, anxiety, sadness, fear, joy (when they said no surgery and when my baby recognized me after anesthesia). This is the first time I have had to truly let one of my babies go. I had to watch the doctors roll E away and I could not hold his hand, I could not sit next to him and I could not make it better on my own. The Lord is teaching me that my boys are in His arms. I can let go and know that they are being protected by the ultimate healer. This is not going to be easy. Life will be very complicated, but I chose to find peace in it all. Peace in the fact that I get to hold my baby again. All moms know that a 2 year old does not want to be held for long. E is one of those boys that is always on the go, usually chasing after his big brother. So, for this 6 week time frame, I can slow down a little, hold my E, read hundreds of books, watch a few extra movies, play games and watch a big brother become a true helper and friend. Maybe God is preparing all of us for our third little miracle. Funny way of preparing us, but I'll take God's will over mine, any day.


4 comments:

beegracious said...

What a great perspective, em. So proud of what a trooper YOU have been through it all too!

Erin A said...

Poor little baby, and poor you!! So glad that you are getting some extra snuggle time with him though, I'm sure it is a great comfort for you both. You are all in our prayers!

Ross said...

So sorry, Emmary! We will be praying for Eli and your family through the healing process.
We just had our second--Tressa--on April 11. She is wonderful and now we are enjoying the blessed time of life with two children. congrats on your third!
Andrea

Emmary said...

Andrea--I would love to check out your blog, but it is set to private. Could you allow me access. Congrats on baby Tressa. We'll have to meet soon.

Love,
Emmary