Are you ever ashamed? Have you ever said an unkind word? Embellished a story? Thought to highly or to low of yourself? I have done all of these things. I most likely do one or more each and every day. Many times I discipline when my patience is gone. I try not to do this, but it often happens. I hope all moms can admit they are not perfect in this area. When this does happen I want to say, "Hold on boys. Hold on. I did not mean to hurt you. I acted in impatience. Wait for me. Wait."
Ella's arrival has brought about many challenges in regards to attention for each child, following through and general time management. I often have to make them leave her nursery when I am putting her down for a nap. I don't have the option, in that moment to discipline correctly. The boys have seen me at my best and at my worst. The amazing part is that they never harbor a grudge when I lose my patience. I simply ask for hugs. I say I'm sorry. They pile on top of me. Kisses and Hugs. They never once question my love. While my heart ached, while I feel guilt, they move on in joy.
Isn't that like our Savior? He has already forgotten what causes me shame. The moment I asked for his forgiveness, he gave me mercy. He does it time and time again. His mercy never fails. It never will.
I feel shame...I feel His mercy...I am alive with JOY!