I am not a huge Oprah fan. I like her show, but don't have to see it. I don't agree with many of her "philosophies," but I do think she works to make the world a better place. I was watching her last episode today on our DVR and started really thinking. She said her biggest challenge to all of her viewers is to find exactly where you should be at this exact moment. She said I should feel compelled to be exactly where I should be, being filled with energy and contentment because I am fulfilling the role I am called to be in. These are the words I am using, ones that translate her thoughts into my head. I know I am where I should be as a mother, wife, and teacher, but there is this small part of me that feels slightly unfulfilled. I know there is a creative outlet out there for me. At times I think it is photography, but I compare my work to others and am let down at my lack of talent. At times I think it is art, but I KNOW I can't draw, paint or sculpt. At times I think it is words, but then I read one phrase from a blog that trumps every paragraph I have ever tried to write. I can sing, but not amazingly well. I can dance, but I doubt everyone would agree.
So, here I am at the age of 31, trying to figure out how to be exactly where I should be. Contentment should be easy for me to come by because my life is quite amazing, but I ALWAYS COMPARE. This has been my vice since childhood. I constantly pray for guidance in this area because I think it robs me of joy. I will keep searching. NO, I will start looking right in front of me, STOP comparing and figure out what I can do with these hands and this mind.