My Birthday Boys

February is a month of cold, cold and more cold. It's a hard month to get through for some, but not for the Roemer family. Our precious boys were born this month. Owen on February 13th, 2006 and Eli on February 12th 2008. It makes me a very busy mommy now that they are in school, but I LOVE it. Yesterday was amazing because Aaron had the day off so he came to the school with me to bring in Eli's birthday snacks. I wish I could have snapped a picture of Eli's face when he saw his Daddy! It's unexpected to see a parent in the classroom in general, but to see his Daddy made him soar. I love that he sees his Daddy as a hero. Aaron said as he gave Eli a big hug, a little boy, who we know has a rougher home life, had tears in his eyes as he watched their moment together. We asked ourselves, "Does he have a daddy? Has he been hurt by his? What happens at his home?" Aaron immediately went over to the little boy and gave him a high five and patted his back. The smile was instant and didn't leave his face as long as Aaron was nearby. It amazes me how instinctual love is, how easily we can trust when the person deserves it. That little boy knew my husband was a good man, a good father and even a friend for the small amount of time we were there. I have been and will continue to pray for him and ways we can create safety in his life. **Today was Owen's day. Kindergarten and 2nd grade is so vastly different! Chaos verses order is one way to put it. In honor of Owen's birthday we played Heads up 7-UP. I didn't know that game was still running strong just as it did when I was in grade school! It was so fun to see Owen in his element, loving his class, his teacher and his friends. He really has such a great group of kids. I will say it's different for me as a mommy to hear about the several crushes that are beginning to form on my oldest son. I know he is charming, so I knew this would come. It's cute right now. We will have to see how cute it is in a few more years. I pray constantly that I will raise Owen as a man of God, so I know he has the foundation to be a man of integrity, chivalry and honor. I pray this for both of my boys. I pray that I, with Aaron's help, can raise them to be men like their Daddy! I am so blessed to have that man in my life. So, this week is a week that I celebrate the three most important boys to me. (I could add a fourth because my Daddy ranks up there too.) I don't deserve to be blessed like this, but God never said I had to deserve it, did He? He blesses me because he loves me! Thank you Lord!

I will try again....

A part of my heart is longing to permanently put my words somewhere, so here I go again! Here are some words that spoke to me recently. "When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement, vowed to Awe Himself, covenanted to Christ-and I took the whole of everything He gave in this gloried world into my open arms with thanks." I have been trying to prepare my heart and the hearts of my babies for Thanksgiving. I thought if we did this, then we would be even more prepared for Christmas. I always sit in the Christmas Eve service, wishing my heart was more prepared for the moment of reverence for what the Lord did through the Christ Child. I always sit there, hoping my children at least caught a glimpse of what His sacrifice really meant. I will start here, on this keyboard and prepare this family of mine, first for being truly Thankful and then to be truly Reverent.

It's been so long.....

I never blog anymore. It makes me kind of sad that I have become so busy that I can't find time to record the tiny moments of my beautiful family. It doesn't matter if no one ever reads this today. What matters is that my children will read it someday. I will read it again when they don't have missing teeth, a tiny lisp and chubby legs. My big boy, my toothless wonder continues to be "mama's boy." He delights in hugging me, often asking "can you just let me sit in your lap?" And there are times I say "no, I don't have time right now." I have done that, and as I type this I realize I can't get those moments back. Oh, I know I'm a busy mom and there will be times I have to say wait or not now, but I can't say wait too much or the waiting will turn to years and I will have a grown man in front of me and he will not fit in my lap. My middle boy, my tender hearted treasure is only home with me two days out of the week now. I have made an effort to really lean into our time together. I don't make him take a nap, even though he needs one, because he desperately needs time alone with his mommy. He holds my face and says, "this is good." as we stare up at the clouds from the trampoline. He says, "you love me most because I'm so cute, right mommy?" I say, "Oh, Eli I would have to say you are a beautiful boy, but I love you for so many more reasons than that and I love you most like I love Owen and Ella most. You are all my gifts from God." He smiles and grabs my hand. Can I pause this please, Lord? My baby girl. Not a baby anymore, but I rock her like she is, I place her in her crib like she is. I'm holding on to this youngest gift as long as I can. She is soft like a petal, she is joy like the sun. She is still my hearts desire every time I look at her dancing, twirling like a ballerina in the sunlight. She dances the minute her feet hit the floor. She challenges me like no other. She loves me in a different way than her brothers. It's an intense love that sometimes produces fits. I will miss "these" fits some day when we are dealing with curfews and boys. Perhaps I can blog again....I can take time to notice something each week that makes me glad to be a wife and mommy. I think my heart needed this after seeing the heartache in Oklahoma. I have my babies all sleeping soundly in our home. I will not go to bed begging God for their smell, their soft skin, their hair tangled in their eyes. They are still with me. I did not have to say goodbye or deny the goodbye because a storm took them from me. I will hold each of them tomorrow and thank God for entrusting them to me. I won't be bothered by them. I will embrace the "crazy" that sometimes happens with children and know that God is with me, holding my hand and loving my babies even more than I do....I still can't fathom that, but I know it's true.

My leader

You taught me how to be a mommy. You were my first born. We learned together. We taught each other. I have never met a child so committed to what is right. I watch you grow into a boy and am in awe of your intelligence and strength. Those wide eyes are always searching for something to learn, to teach and even to challenge. Owen, you continue to make me the mommy I should be. I look at you and am reminded every day of God's creativity and grace.

My beautiful boy

I still marvel at you when you sleep. Those lashes, those cheeks, those lips and that nose. You still seem to be my baby. I guess that never leaves, but there is something about you Eli that catches my breath, that makes me marvel at God's creation. What a gift God gave me in that. I can just look at you and am reminded of His perfect artistry.

My Girl

These pigtails have gotten so long. Time is slipping right through my fingers, but I'm holding every moment in my heart. Every dream I ever had for and with you is coming true. I write down moments with you so I don't forget. They may not make it to the cyber world, but I will forever have them etched on paper (the way I prefer). I just thought the world might want to see your perfect little head from my perspective.

Christmas time....where have I been?

I just can't make time slow down! I wish I could say that once the New Year is here, I'll have a new found committment to blogging, but I know my wonderfully crazy life and that probably won't happen. I will say I am content, I am busy, I am potty training and I am loving the holiday season! That enough for you? I just finished our Christmas cards and wanted to share a link to a great deal. I was able to save quite a bit! http://www.shutterfly.com Happy Holidays....Hope to type real soon. :)

Ella-23 months

Today Ella turned 2 and I'm just now posting her 23 month picture. I'll be sure to post her 24 month soon.....Oh, the life of being a mommy to 3 little ones! And yes, this picture perfectly portrays this little girl's personality on that day in September!

Ella-22 months

Ella-21 months

Things I Don't Want to Forget

***On Owen: When you pray at bedtime you ask God to help you be a good Christian. You thank him for the good and the bad. You see how both are blessings. How wise you are! You were very nervous about 1st grade. I was surprised by this because you are always so confident when it comes to school. You protect Eli. You wanted to make sure Eli would sit by you on the bus just in case he fell asleep on the way home. You wanted to be there for him if he wanted to lay on your lap (tear from mommy). You want EVERYTHING to be fair. You thrive on rules. You are crushed if you think the rules are not fair. ***On Eli: Your prayers go like this, "Dear God, thank you for Mommy, Daddy, Owen, Eli and Ella. Help me be good. Help me be good to others. Help me be nice to friends and Owen and Ella. Help for me to love people. Help for me to love you. Help for me to......(we sometimes have to cut you off because you could go all night)but you always gets in "help for me to be a good Christian." You whispered in my ear yesterday, "Mommy, Did you know some kids grow up to be teenagers?" You had a silly little smile on your face like you were saying something kind of sneaky. (I told him he would be a teenager someday and he said..."NO, that's silly!" I'm not sure what his definition of a teenager is yet. I think it has something to do with boys liking girls and going on dates. Owen has talked about that a bit lately). You get some of your phrasing off and it's so cute. Example: I didn't get to play much time on the Wii, outside, etc. Your hair is really blonde after being in the sun in Florida for 2 weeks. You are one handsome little blonde, tan boy! ***On Ella: You had a vocabulary explosion over vacation. You added a few new words everyday while we were there. Here are a few: goggles, cookies, cracker, baby No NO (baby Noah). You have really started speaking in sentences. Examples: "Baby No No says Wa Wa." "I wan up." "Come on." "All done." "Sit down" "Outside, I walk." You know and say most of your body parts. The boys taught you to say toot. You point to your bottom and say "tut" It's cute, even if slightly inappropriate. You tell everyone "Hi" and "bye bye." I could list so much more, but I'll stop there. You are VERY outgoing! You are the most expressive child I have ever met. I need to post a recording of some of your responses. You still are not the best sleeper....which is why I need to end this list and go to bed! Love my babies. Don't want to forget these moments!

Ella-20 months

Ella adores her "Bitty Baby." She had to make a brief appearance for this month's photo session. I love watching her pretend to be a little mommy. It's amazing to watch your very own daughter mimic every little thing you do. She rubs bitty baby's back, pats her bottom, kisses her, wraps her up in blankies... Sometimes I just watch her (when she doesn't know) and marvel at this little miracle that is growing up right before my eyes.

Ella-19 months (way overdue)

This summer has been crazy. A good crazy, but time has not been something I have had to spare. I managed to get a picture of Ella every month, but did not have time to edit and post them That is obvious by my absence from this blog. Summer is coming to an end and with that, comes routine and more time to use as I wish. So, here are several posts chronicling my sweet baby girl each month,

So Much to Come

When I finally get around to posting pictures, it's going to be a picture extravaganza. Our summer has been filled with fun and friends. I think I better get on this whole blog thing before we go on vacation... Thoughts from lately: 1) Owen and Eli love each other intensely, which means they fight intensely too! I'm learning to deal with this on a 4 and 6-year old level. I have found that how I deal with behaviors with each boy is very, very different. Their personalities play a huge role in this, not just age. Eli is so tender-hearted and Owen is the master compromiser. 2) I ADORE teaching. I love that I get to do so much teaching in the summer. I also love that my children are safe with my mom and mother-in-law. 3) It's hard to come back to being a stay-at-home mommy after teaching each week. I miss the independence a little. Oh, and coming home to a perfectly clean home and all laundry done after either my mom or mom-in-law was here! 4) My husband knows how to raise boys! So glad he does because they might turn out pretty bad if I were the only one in charge. 5) Ella is finally done nursing at 20 months! We had our final bonding on July 8th. I cried the next night as she cried for me, but only 2 minutes later she was hugging me, both arms and legs wrapped around my shoulders and waist. Now we have a new routine of rocking and hugging. It's pretty amazing! 6) I obsess over organization. Mainly the fact that my house is not organized the way I want it to be. It's an unhealthy thing. 7) I stay up too late.

Patience....

Summer has begun and I'm learning patience all over again. It's a balancing act with all three at home. I love having all three, but they each have their own wants and needs. Owen is used to "doing" all of the time, while Eli, Ella and I have gotten in our own little simple day to day routine. The boys adore being together, but there are more fights because they are together so much more. Patience is becoming an active choice on my part. I want to treasure these moments. Moments where we don't have to be anywhere at a set time. We can just "be" a family. I am juggling a lot right now. I have been preparing for teaching very intensive classes, so I'm a little preoccupied. Needless to say, this blog has suffered a drought as well as any other outlet of creativity. I do have pictures taken of my sweet Ella at 18 and 19 months, but they have yet to be edited and posted. I will get to it, but for now, I am working on being the best mom I can be to these miracles I call mine!

Easter

Ella

Ella

The Men in my Life

I watch you grow

I watch you change

I marvel at your intelligence

your creativity

your confidence

your tenderness

4 and 6

4 and 6

My two little Valentine babies changed me forever and now I look at

4 and 6

So big, yet still babies

and

then 

there is

My first valentine

The man who is my home

who holds me

who holds you

who always, always makes me feel safe

makes me feel desired

To the men in my life....I say, I love you

I adore you